Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Shannon/SHANNON debate

When I look at the people that come to this blog and no, it's not obsessive or egotistic, no, not at all, nothing needy or desperate about me, I really like how some people search for Shannon Murdoch and some people search for SHANNON MURDOCH.

Because some days I am Shannon Murdoch. I'm small and quiet and don't really want to talk to anyone and other days I'm all WHAT'S GOING ON BITCHES (I don't think I've ever said that phrase but you get my drift … do you get my drift? Is your head exploding from all the capitalised words? Really? You should work on that because that's weird. It's just a capital. SEE. Okay. Stop crying. I'll stop with the capitals now, even though I was making a point. Well, trying to make a point but I get it. You’re the audience. You're way more important than me. Or something. I think I remember something about the importance of the audience in some theatre class I took but look, really, I was probably hungover. Or high. And I was in love with a married man, so it's all a bit of a blur. I do remember once that Skye Patchett - and really, that's her name. I should probably use a false name to protect myself from defamation or something … I do remember once that Fkye Fatchett did a real number about artistic dignity when we all had to be trees or farm animals or something and then about six months later dropped out to become the ingĂ©nue on the remake of Flipper. No. I didn't make that up. I can't make those things up. I'm really not that clever. I do have an exploding chicken in my new play. That's pretty clever. Well, it will be if it gets produced and someone figures out how to make a chicken explode on stage. I have no idea how to make a chicken explode on stage. But I trust that someone does. I'm sure they teach that at University these days. We were not taught that … or maybe we were and I was just, as previously stated, hungover, high and giving all my attention to a man that did not deserve me and used me like a rag. Well, not really a rag but I was 19 years old and that man was a long way from 19. That's all I'm saying. I'm just saying that …well, who knows what I was thinking? I'm pretty sure I wasn't. I'm pretty sure I was too hungover and high to do much but drift from situation to situation with the iron clad belief that I knew everything there was to know. I do remember that my friend Moyra and I (and that is her real name) found Jerzy Grotowski so hilarious that we created a long-running comedy sketch on him. Those were the days … BITCHES! Ha! You thought I had forgotten. I forget nothing. I'm like the Catholic Church that way).

So anyway, all this was because I think it's funny that some people think I'm Shannon Murdoch and other people think I'm SHANNON MURDOCH and … Well, now I've forgotten my whole point. Thanks for nothing bitches.