Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Outback Shan

Right now, I'm in the country. Like on a farm in the country. Sure, I'm an hour away from where I live. In the city. Nothing to do with the country. But a week and a bit ago I travelled down a freeway and entered … the country. This is a very odd thing for Australians. When I was last in the US, I got told a lot that I didn't sound like an Australian. John Guare said that to me. I told him I was from the city. He seemed disappointed but then he hugged me and said I was wonderful so I figured all was forgiven. It's true. I don't sound 'Australian' to the Americans but that's mainly because I don't say 'Crikey, check out that croc' at every available opportunity. In fact I've never said 'Check out that croc' BECAUSE I'VE NEVER GOT THAT CLOSE TO A CROCODILE. I mean, those things will kill you. If you don't believe me, ask about a thousand German tourists. In fact, don't. They are dead.

Anyway, I digress.

I'm in the country. I got a fellowship to come to the country and write for three weeks. Sure, I'm writing. I'm writing up a storm. But more importantly, I am bonding with the country which is something I rarely do, mainly because it is full of things that will kill me. Australian stories of the outback are nothing more than How to Get Yourself Killed by Venturing Outside of the City. But this place is wonderful. Mainly because nothing has killed me. Yet. Although there was a kangaroo the other day that looked at me with murderous intent but that could have just been the face he was born with. There are also sheep and horses and bunny rabbits that frolic about the lawn. There is an echidna that just mooches about being all echidna like. And because it is Spring, there are babies. Cute, cute babies that I want to steal and raise as my own. So keep being nice to me Australian outback. No one wants to read 'Australian Playwright killed by echidna with anger management issues'. Although, that would be hilarious.